Bound by blood
by AngryChair
Summary: A series of one-shots revolving around the devastating childhood of Tarrlok and Noatak aka Amon . Rated T for language suicidal themes, rating may change.
1. The Good Old Days

I unrolled my sleeping bag next to Tarrlok's after our lesson was finished for the night. I couldn't believe a soft, sensitive kid like him had to endure all the bloodbending shit. It wasn't right- not for anyone, especially an eleven year old kid, especially one like him. We both deserved someone better for a father. If we'd been brought up by someone who wanted to raise sons instead of disciples, I knew he'd have been a brilliant little guy instead of the constant nervous wreck he'd become.

"Noatak," He whispered, "I can't sleep."

I rolled over to face him. "You think I'm any better at it?"

"No... I usually feel better after talking to you, though."

I nodded, not smiling. My ability to do so had gone over the years. "You'd also feel better if we didn't have to put up with father." He got this look in his eyes that I'd gotten to know too well- a frightened look, the same one he got every time I mentioned escape. "We don't have to live with this. We can leave."

"Noatak... you... you know what I think of that." he whimpered- he never sounded confident with anything he said back then. It was painful to watch. "We can't leave Mom."

"Yeah, well, Mom could've saved herself before she married Dad." I replied. If she hadn't married him, neither of us would've gone through all that we had. It would've been better if we'd never existed- I only thought these things, and for good reason. Tarrlok was fairly impressionable, and I couldn't have lived with myself if I'd driven him to suicide.

"Hey, I know what we could do." Tarrlok chimed, a hint of hope in his voice. Still no smile. Both the north and south pole would have to melt before either of us would smile. "We could bring mom with us!"

I sighed. "That's not a bad idea... but I already tried asking her. She said she can't leave father... what does she even see in him?"

"I'm not sure... Noatak, I'm tired. I wish I could sleep, but my mind won't leave me alone about bloodbending."

"Think about something else." I tried it myself- he was right. Bloodbending was all I could think about, too.

"It doesn't work."

"Dammit." I hissed. "Well... I got nothing." I turned onto my back and stared up at the stars. Of all we could've been, of all the places we could've ended up in our unimaginably large universe, Tarrlok and I had to be forced bloodbenders. It wasn't fair. I tried to remember the feeling of joy- something we'd had when we were very young. I'd never forget him as a little kid- he laughed and smiled constantly back then. "Tarrlok, I swear." I whispered, closing my eyes.

"What?" He whispered back.

"One day, we'll be out of this mess. We won't have to bloodbend. We'll be on our own." I sighed. "Somehow, I know we'll find happiness for ourselves. It has to be out there for us, somewhere. We had it back in the good old days."

He moved closer to me, and I put my arm around him. "I love you, Tarrlok." I whispered.

"I love you too, Noatak."

"We'll get out of this one day." I told him. "I promise. It'll be just like old times."


	2. All we have left in the world

Author's note: Remember that suicide warning? Picture a flashing red neon sign reading "SUICIDE WARNING" above this installment. Also if you have an opinion of any of these stories please review. I know it's annoying to ask that but these depressing Tarrlok-Noatak stories are what I'm most proud of among all my fanfics. I want to know what people think.

It was the last night before my brother fled the north pole. Though I was only eleven years old, my father had tried to turn me into a man prematurely. While Noatak had always appeared to be alright with it, I knew better than to assume he was any happier than I was.

On some 'hunting trips', this one included, our father took us to a cabin that he 'just bought one day', and demanded that that was how he got it. Now that I look back, I'm positive it was stolen. It was small, but it was fairly warm and comfortable... at least, it would've been comfortable for any other family. Bright as we were, Noatak and I had no understanding of comfort. During this trip, my lack of comfort led me up the stairs, above the trap door in the ceiling of the room where Noatak and I slept, and onto the roof.

Don't ask me why the cabin had access to the roof. There was nothing to view but snow covering jagged mountains. Hence the lack of anything to look at, anyone who noticed would be suspicious of me standing on the roof. Noatak just had to notice me standing there, just had to come up the stairs and speak to me about it.

"Tarrlok?" he asked as he climbed out of the trap door. "What are you doing up here?"

"Enjoying the view." I lied, trying to be tough, to be angry. Instead, the words escaped my mouth with an hollow, unsure tone, as always.

"What view?" Noatak hissed. "Oh, I see, snow. How interesting. Hey look, more snow! Boy oh boy, I'm having so much fun looking at all this- oh what's that? Goodness gracious, it's snow, what a surprise! It's so fascinating because that's all there is to see!" I bit my lip- Noatak's sarcasm was just starting to get to me. "In all seriousness, there is no view to enjoy."

I turned to face him, his expression even more stoic than his nearly monotone voice. "There's no anything to enjoy, Noatak." I finally managed to croak. "I... I think life hates us."

"You think?" he asked, rolling his eyes. "I mean, if life did love or hate, we'd be it's worst enemies."

"Then why do we keep trying to be it's friend? Those good old days you talk about? They're gone, and they've been gone almost since I can remember."

"Doesn't mean they won't happen again. Come on, get back inside. You'll freeze your scrawny little ass out here." I turned, looking down at the ground, noting the distance from it to the roof. I turned back around and took a step closer to the edge. "Tarrlok, don't do it." he growled.

"Life... for us, I mean... it's..." I took a deep breath, and one last look at the world I was trapped in. "...me and you, Noatak... we're only suffering." I closed my eyes and took another deep breath, preparing to jump.

"Tarrlok, stop!" Noatak roared. "If you don't cut this out right now, I'll grab you by the hair and drag you back into the- Tarrlok!"

Everything went black as I landed, face down, in the snow.

Hours later, I woke on my bed with Noatak waterbending on my ankle. "Hey, you're awake." he said, his typical flat tone returned completely. "You sprained your ankle when you fell, but everything else was normal."

"What are you doing... with the water?" I asked deliriously.

"Oh, that? I figured out that waterbending has healing powers. Dad's too in love with the small reputation he's amassed back home to teach us the apparently feminine tradition of healing. I've been teaching myself instead."

"So... I'm still alive?"

"Yes, you are. Thank goodness." He snapped. I decided it would be easier to make nothing of it.

"W... why isn't Dad here?" I asked.

"I drove him out. He was furious at you for 'disrespecting your young and able body'- I almost agreed with him, until he said it's all you've got. I can't believe he'd say that, especially about his own son. He sickens me." he admitted, bending the water from my leg back into his canteen.

"Yeah, me too."

He turned his head, looking me right in the eye, almost startling me. "We need to talk about what happened earlier. I'm still not okay with it."

I sighed, trying to avoid the subject. "How did you drive Dad out?"

"By pretending I could play that Tsungi horn in the corner," he said, pointing to the instrument that we'd found just after Dad 'bought' the cabin. "Bending abilities might run in the family, but musical abilities? Not at all. It was pretty hilarious." He said with no amusement in his voice, as always. "You're not going to distract me from what happened earlier." he snapped. "Let's take a walk."

"Will I be able to-"

"You're ankle will be fine. I might be self taught but I'm a good healer."

"But, Noa-"

"We are taking a walk, Tarrlok. You know I _can _force you."

"Fine..." I whimpered, standing and following him down the stairs and outside, where our father stood, glaring at me.

"I've got this." Noatak told him. "I'm just taking him for a walk to talk some sense into him."

Father sighed, probably relieved he didn't have to deal with me. "Be back soon." he ordered. "It'll be dark soon, and you haven't had your bloodbending lessons yet. I had a special lesson planned for today, one that will test if you're truly worthy of my heritage."

"We'll be back, Father." Noatak informed him, grabbing my arm to drag me along. "Next morning, that is." He whispered, just barely loud enough for me to hear.

"But he'll flip his shit at us tomorrow!" I whispered back.

"It doesn't matter what he does." He looked around, noticing we'd made it far enough from the cabin that he could speak at normal volume. "I figured something out that could save our lives." He paused, and stood still for just a second. "Also, you should watch your mouth. You're not old enough to be talking like that. Wait until you're my age."

"Fine..." I grumbled. "Let's keep going."

"No, we're stopping here, and staying out for a night."

"But... we'll freeze."

"We'll build a fire."

"Dad could see the smoke."

"We can make an igloo easily." He turned and bent a dome from the snow, and then an entrance. "There. That's where we're staying. Get some firewood. I'll be in the igloo."

I nodded, and obediently started bending thick sheets of ice with sharp edges into the bottoms of any trees I could find, collecting a total of three. I ran back to the igloo, brought one inside and left the other two against the outer wall in case we needed backup.

Noatak was shivering where he sat, clutching his knees against his chest, still wearing a blank facial expression. "You got the wood."

"Yeah, it wasn't easy to find." I bent a blade of ice from the snowy ground and slammed it against the middle of the tree trunk, creating the beginning of a groove, slashing again and again until it split. By then, I was exhausted.

"I should've done that. I'd be able to snap it in one try without breaking a sweat."

"I know, I'm not as good as you."

"Not at waterbending. Probably at the Tsungi horn..." He leaned forward and grabbed the two pieces of wood, ferociously rubbing them together until they created a flame. He carefully lay the burning wood down in the center of the igloo. "Let's discuss what happened earlier. What do you think happened?"

"You used waterbending to heal my ankle."

"Before that."

"You played the Tsungi horn... badly, to piss off Dad."

"Before that- and like I said, watch your mouth."

"I passed out."

"And what caused that?" I stayed silent, unable to accept reality, my past actions. "Come on, Tarrlok. You know what I'm referring to." He stared me down, waiting for me to be able to admit it- trust me, I was willing myself to, but nothing came out. "If you don't say it, I will." He paused for a few seconds. "You jumped off the roof of the cabin because you realized our life was miserable."

"I've always known it was miserable... but I realized that's all it is, miserable."

"That doesn't mean we should just throw our chances at something better out the window like that. You asked if our potential future was worth our painful childhood- and I'm telling you, it is. The future might be closer than you think it is. That," he scooched over to my side, leaning down to whisper to me, "and Dad doesn't really have power over us. His power is a joke. It's been a joke all along."

I stared up at him, bewildered. He was essentially saying that our years of being ordered around, being slaves to our father, were just a joke. Our lives so far were based mostly around our father's power. "What do you mean his power is a joke?"

"He only has the power of manipulation, and intimidation... but he can't bloodbend. We can. We have power over him, Tarrlok. It just takes a little confidence to get it."

I merely stared at him, shocked at how he was so sure of himself. For him, it would only take a little confidence. For me, it would take all the confidence I had.

"One more thing," he began, "if you _ever _try to kill yourself again... I'll bloodbend you before you do." I nodded, not knowing the level of his threat. "Do you know what it feels like, to be bloodbent?" he asked, showing no emotion as he stared at the fire.

"Of course I don't. I've never been-"

"It's hurts worse than anything. It's like someone's reaching inside you, making it so you're nothing more than a part of them."

"H-how do you know?"

He took a deep breath, his eyebrows lowering, face stiffening. "You don't want to know. It's sickening."

"Almost everything we know is sickening."

"Oh yeah? Well, this is worse than anything you know." He tried to conceal his emotion, and though he had developed that skill perfectly, I could tell he was in the worst sort of pain.

"Noatak, tell me. I don't want you holding it-"

"It was members of Dad's gang who followed him here." he finally admitted. "Somehow they found out we were learning to bloodbend, and that I was Dad's favorite. On full moons, they had their fun throwing me around, knowing I had yet to be as strong as they were. They'd tease me, how powerless I was despite the fact that I was a prodigy. I was about your age when they did this. "

"And you never told Dad?"

"As if he'd care. He'd act like it was some learning experience." he argued, "They stopped once they found out I was doing it in broad daylight. I got my revenge the other night. They were having a party, I barged in and bloodbent the shit out of them, and threatened that if they do so much as touch you or I," he paused, glare deepening more than ever, so much that it was frightening. "I'd kill every last one of them."

"Noatak... you can't-"

"Why not? They deserve it. You just don't know because they never did anything to you. Look, my point is... I don't want to have to bloodbend you. But I will if you ever do that again. Do you know why I'd have to do that?"

"T-to stop me from... ok, what is it?"

He bit his lip, wincing, shaking like he was about to explode. "Because I can't lose the one thing I care about!" he wailed.

"Noatak, I..." No words could express what I was feeling.

"Tarrlok, look... if you ever were to die, I'd be on my own with the bloodbending. You're all I have in the world, all I've ever had."

"What... what about waterbending? Don't you ever waterbend on your own time, back at home? I do that..."

"Of course I don't..." he paused, looking like he was even holding back tears. "I hate waterbending... our lives were fine before we figured out we were benders! If we had been non-benders, Dad wouldn't have expected anything of us! We would've had nice, normal lives... we would've been the same as every other family... it isn't fair." He clutched his knees tighter and buried his face in them.

"Noatak, are you-"

"Leave me alone. All you ever do is cry." he muttered. "Let me have _my_ tears while Dad isn't looking."

"Noatak," I began again, sounding a bit less fearful. "I promise, I won't try to kill myself. Ever." I told him, truly believing I could keep this up.

"Good," he croaked, "if you did, I'd have to go with you."


	3. Identity

AN: I figured I'd go in another direction for this one. It's still fanon, of course. If you have anything to say, please review!

Tarrlok's eyes snapped open- for a second, he didn't know where he was. All he knew was he was moving. Slowly regaining consciousness, the memories from a few moments or few hours ago- how long had he been out?- resurfaced. His immunity to the bloodbending. How easily he took Tarrlok down, how calm he was when he did this, and how painfully familiar getting his bending removed felt.

He knew who's face was hidden behind that mask. He knew who was driving him through the tundra. He knew who was killing Republic City. He knew it, and part of him couldn't bear to believe it, but at the same time, it made perfect sense.

"N... Noatak?" Tarrlok muttered, sitting up despite the rope that bound his limbs in place. The driver uttered no response. "I know it's you, Noatak. I've always wondered whether you made it out of that storm... you were a smart and skilled boy, but you were also troubled. And you're still unusually troubled."

"What are you looking for, _Tarrlok_?" The masked man snapped. "A family reunion?"

Theory confirmed.

"Noatak," he began, more gently, "we're brothers. Doesn't that mean anything?"

"It does." he grumbled, "I just assumed you'd be on my side."

"What do you mean I'd be on 'your side'? You brought violence to my beloved city."

"Tarrlok, here is what you are too naive to realize- bending ruined our lives. We were fine until we had to learn how to waterbend."

"I understand... you're taking your own anger about your past out on innocent people. You think this whole 'Amon' ordeal will redeem you... but it won't."

"Do you know how much I've wanted to live as non-bender for so many years? And now, not only am I seen as one, but I'm a hero among them. They love me."

"They love who you pretend to be! They're in love with how powerful you are despite that you're not a bender, as far as they know. You're revolution is strong, but vulnerable."

"It's not as vulnerable as you may think. Do you really think my followers will believe anything you tell them? Or that I'll give you even half the chance to tell them?"

Tarrlok gasped. "Noatak, have you lost your mind? I'm your brother! What do you plan on doing with me, anyway?"

"Nothing much... I just don't want you messing anything up. I've got big plans for Republic City, Tarrlok. I don't want you getting in the way."

"I wouldn't worry about that... I'd be more concerned about Avatar Korra... she may not be able to airbend in the slightest, but she's incredibly powerful, and smart too... and if I were you, I'd fear her determination the most. Even if you bloodbend her, she'll find a way to defeat you- and honestly, I hope she does."

"You seem to forget that I can take her bending and make her powerless."

Tarrlok paused- he was right. "Regardless, this needs to end, Noatak. You're a mess, and even you do manage to 'equalize' Republic City, and even the world, this direction will never lead you to the personal reform you seek. Just earlier today I still thought I could deny who I was by disowning our father... but I now know that no matter what I do I will always be Yukone's son, and the same goes for you. No matter what you try to believe, you will always be a bloodbender."


End file.
